Support Groups | Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS) | Male Survivors | Family Help | Trauma reactions
More on Counseling
Individual Therapy
UASA offers counseling services to sexual assault survivors as well as their significant others, friends and family, who may be struggling with their own reactions. Services are provided by State of California Certified Rape Trauma Counselors and supervised M.F.T. Interns, who can meet with you and your loved ones. Sixteen sessions are offered on a sliding fee scale.
Sessions are held in a safe, supportive atmosphere. Anything you tell us is confidential within the Agency. This means we will not tell anyone that you are being seen by us and we will not tell anyone what you have told us. If you request that we converse with someone else, you will be asked to sign a permission form before we release information to anyone outside the agency.
Counselors have intensive training and supervision in Rape Trauma Syndrome. We understand the social aspects and psychological symptoms of surviving sexual assault as well as how all other aspects of life are affected.
Counseling sessions are by appointment. Call the Counseling Services Manager at 707-545-7270, extension 14, for an appointment. Leave your first name and telephone number.
Counseling Hours and Location:
- Monday through Friday, 9:00 a.m. – 8:00 p.m. (closed on holidays)
- 835 Piner Road, Suite D, Santa Rosa
Counseling is available in English and Spanish. Other languages may be available.
United Against Sexual Assault of Sonoma County is committed to providing services based on a survivor’s needs and wants, with the intention of wellness and health as the underlying goal.
Confidentiality
Confidentiality is essential to effective therapy and support services. Professional ethics require
that we protect the confidentiality of people who seek help from us. A signed permission form is required
before information about a client is released to anyone outside the agency, with the following exceptions:
- Threat of harm to self or others
- Child abuse
- Elder abuse
UASA Maintains 100% Confidentiality
Fees
- UASA utilizes a sliding scale fee schedule, based on income. Generally $25 is our low end. We do offer lower-fee scholarships as well. We will definitely try to find something that will work for you. All of this is discussed during the intake process for counseling, so please give us a call at 545-7270, ext 14. To make the best use of our financial resources and to provide quality service, we ask clients who take advantage of counseling services to help with a personal contribution to each individual and group session whenever possible. Fees are discussed during the initial intake appointment.
Support Groups
We provide support groups for survivors of sexual assault and for their loved ones who may be struggling with their own feelings. Support groups are offered to women, men, and teenage girls, and are facilitated by State of California Certified Sexual Assault Counselors and supervised M.F.T. Interns. Our groups offer an opportunity to:
- Share your experience in a safe environment
- Hear about others’ experiences
- Explore ways to address the impact of the abuse/assault
- Learn strategies to help you respond to the demands of day-to-day living
Available support groups include:
For Survivors of Sexual Assault:
For women survivors, we provide a Drop-In Support Group on Monday nights from 6:00pm to 7:00 p.m. Having a place to come, where you are understood and you can listen to others as they share their struggles and successes, can be an opportunity to connect. You can just sit and listen if you don’t want to talk. It may feel easier to be alone, but it might also be nice to have someone understand.
835 Piner Road, Suite D, in Santa Rosa.
For Spanish-speaking women, we offer the same group: a Spanish- speaking Survivor Support Group
- Call 707-545-7270 ext. 31 for details.
Nuestro grupo de apoyo es un espacio especial para ti donde existe la paciencia y comprension. Puedes
escuchar sin tener que hablar y puedes hablar y que te escuchen. Skill Building: United Against Sexual Assault of Sonoma County offers an 8 week workshop for survivors interested in learning relevant life skills in a supportive atmosphere.
Our Skill BuildingGroup is designed for survivors who are looking for tools to help facilitate their continued healing when interacting with a world that doesn’t always understand them. Are your boundaries getting stomped on? Are you wondering why you react in the ways you do? Please call for details about this 8-week workshop.
Collaboration with the Sonoma County Sheriff’s Department resulted in UASA bringing the 8-week Skill Building curriculum to the Main Adult Detention Facility’s female inmates. Antonia Albany, a former Inmate Services Coordinator reports: “Your program is invaluable in providing a safe, supportive environment for incarcerated women to talk about their experiences and subsequent feelings of sexual abuse. This workshop gives inmates an opportunity to learn healthy skills, set safe boundaries and examine their feelings.”
For Friends and Family of Survivors:
Are you trying to support a survivor? Do you feel like no matter what you do, it’s wrong? The Healing Allies Drop-In Support Group, which supports significant others, family and friends of survivors, meets on Thursday evenings from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. Many people have come to rely on this regular opportunity to share their own tears and stories with people in similar circumstances.
You need to take care of yourself too!
835 Piner Road, Suite D, in Santa Rosa.
For Girls who just want to talk!
The Girls Support Group (GSG) provides a safe place to talk about your topics with your peers. If you’re editing what you say because it feels like people are always critical or you just want someone to listen, think about coming to GSG. This low pressure group is open to any girls ages 14 to 18. Please call (707) 545-7270, extension 14 for details.
If you’d like information on any of our groups, call us at (707) 545-7270, extension 14.
Male Survivors of Sexual Assault
Our society’s prevalent images of men claim that men are always strong, invulnerable, stoic, and in control. Despite these stereotypes, men of all ages, sizes, strengths, looks, personalities and sexual orientations are victims of sexual assault. Males are sexually assaulted both as adults and as children.
Many people wonder why men are assaulted at lower rates than women. Sexual assault usually results from the perpetrator’s attempt to feel more powerful, thus the individuals society perceives as having less power are often at greater risk for sexual assault. This is one reason why males are less often sexually assaulted than females, and why male children are at a greater risk of sexual assault than are adult males. On an individual emotional level males are as profoundly affected by sexual assault as females. As a result of the assault, male survivors frequently experience emotions such as:
- anger
- anxiety
- confusion over sexual intimacy
- loneliness
- pain
- shame
It is not unusual for a sexual assault to leave a male survivor questioning his masculinity. This, among other reasons, is why men are less likely to report a sexual assault. The fact that men are more frequently assaulted by other men, may cause a male survivor to question his sexual orientation.
These reactions are common because our society perpetuates the myth that sexual assault is about sexual attraction not domination and power. This same myth often inhibits survivors from seeking help in the aftermath of the assault. All survivors, male or female, are entitled to receive empathetic, non-judgmental support and information after an assault. And, regardless of gender, the assault is never the survivor’s fault.
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Questioning (LGBTQ) Survivors
LGBT survivors of violence often fear reaching out for help due to homophobia. The layers of oppression, bigotry and discrimination complicate a survivor’s healing.
UASA is responsive to the needs of the LGBT Communities. While many service providers are not adequately trained to address the special needs of LGBT clients, UASA wants to make it safer for LGBT survivors to reach out by providing culturally competent services in a safe, non-judgmental environment. Individual therapy available.
Sexual and Relationship Abuse
A majority of relationships are not abusive. However, on-going abuse occurs in approximately one-third of relationships regardless of sexual orientation, ethnicity, or class. Based on several studies in the early 1990’s, partner abuse occurs in 25-33% of LGBT relationships, which is roughly equal to the prevalence of heterosexual domestic violence.
The LGBT survivor can expect the same range of emotional responses to assault as any heterosexual survivor. However, because of homophobia, discrimination, bigotry, and bias, there are issues that may negatively impact treatment, impeding the healing process, or in some cases, making the situation worse. Special concerns for the LGBT survivor include:
- Insensitivity among social service/health care providers or law enforcement
- Disbelief that the assault or abuse really occurred
- Belief that same sex violence is “mutually combative”
- Guilt or shame because of internalized oppression
- Lack of support from friends or family
- Fear of public disclosure
Resources for the LGBT survivor are limited. However, no one should be forced to deal with sexual or relationship violence alone. Sexual orientation should not be perceived as a barrier to or further isolate the LGBT survivor. For more information or resources contact UASA at info@uasasonoma.org.
Family Help
1 in 3 girls and women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime. 1 in 6 boys and men are sexually assaulted by the age of 16.
Sexual assault affects everyone — directly or through the experiences of those we care about. If someone you care about has been sexually assaulted, you can help.
When it happens, survivors may be uncertain of where to turn for help. They hesitate. Should they call the police? Go to the emergency room? Where can they get support in making these decisions?
24/7 Crisis Line: 707-545-7273
Let them know there is a place that gives information and connects survivors with support. Encourage your friends to play a part in making our society free from sexual violence.
When It is Someone You Know
When someone you know or care about has been assaulted, it is normal for you to feel upset and confused. At a time when you may want to help most, you will be dealing with a crisis of your own.
You may find it difficult to listen when s/he needs to talk about his or her feelings. You may hope that by not talking about it, the feelings both of you have will go away.
You may be tempted to make decisions for the survivor, to be over-protective. You may want to hide the assault from others. You may feel disturbed or confused when the survivor continues to be affected for weeks, months, and even years.
Some partners may want more physical intimacy sooner than the survivor does. Others may feel resistant.
Maybe you feel guilty and responsible, believing you could somehow prevent the assault. You may also feel anger at the survivor or at everyone in general.
All of these feelings are understandable following the sexual assault of someone you love. Please know that if these feelings are hidden or expressed in hurtful ways, they can interfere with the resolution of your crisis and that of the survivor.
The survivor may need your support and understanding. You, however, also need support. Call 707-545-7270 ext. 14 about counseling.
Sexual assault is a violent crime, not a sexually-motivated or gratifying act. The rapist’s aim is to dominate, humiliate, control and degrade the victim. Because the same body parts are involved in sexual assault as in making love, many people confuse sex and violence. Some respond to a survivor as if s/he provoked, wanted or enjoyed it.
Many people also believe rape is not traumatic. Not understanding the reality of sexual assault can make the crisis more difficult for both of you. The emotional impact of sexual assault does not disappear, and talking about it can help. Your feelings are normal, and resources are available for you too.
Join UASA’s support group for family or friends of survivors of sexual assault – “Healing Allies” – call 707-545-7270 for details.
Family members, spouses, and partners
Your help is important to the survivor of sexual assault. It is natural for her or him to feel a tremendous loss of power and control over life. You can emphasize that just surviving is an accomplishment, and whatever s(he) did to survive was the right thing to do. It shows strength.
A survivor may feel anger, guilt, fear, anxiety, shame or depression. You may feel pain, sorrow, disgust — or be impatient with the recovery process. You may blame yourself, or the survivor — or want revenge. Here are a few things you can do to help the survivor:
- Tell them you believe them, and it’s not their fault.
- Listen, but be honest and gently tell them if you cannot handle the details.
- Do not push them to talk, but be available to listen and help if needed.
- Help the survivor with options for immediate medical and legal concerns.
- Do not take control. Support the survivor’s decisions, even if you disagree.
- Encourage them to seek support from trained professionals.
Deal with your own feelings and don’t let them overshadow those of the survivor. Learn more about sexual assault so you can help in the healing process. Do not hesitate to seek help from trained professionals in dealing with your feelings.
If my partner has been assaulted, how do I deal with our sexual relationship?
If your partner wants to refrain from sexual activity, it is essential that you honor those wishes. Otherwise (s)he may feel rushed or frightened by your desire to be sexual.
Try to talk openly and gently about this with your partner. It is vital to communicate. Let your partner’s
needs guide your actions.
Your partner’s attitude about sexuality may affect you. Consider seeing a counselor to talk about your feelings. Remember, most survivors recover from the trauma and lead healthy, loving lives.
Join Healing Allies, UASA’s support group for family and friends of sexual assault survivors.
Sexual assault is a very serious and personal trauma that should always be treated with sensitivity and respect for a survivor’s privacy. But there is a role we all can play in supporting survivors and programs that serve them. Through individual commitments by concerned citizens and the mobilization of communities around the issue of sexual assault, the road to recovery and healing is paved.
Sexual assault affects us all. It compromises the health, safety and welfare of our families and neighborhoods. It directly burdens financial resources for healthcare, law enforcement and criminal justice.It takes many people and varied approaches to make a difference. We hope you will join us in creating a society free from sexual violence.
- Become a Crisis Line Counselor. Volunteers staff the 24/7 Crisis Line. For information, call or email UASA’s Crisis Line Coordinator: 707-545-7270 extension 19 or intervention@uasasonoma.org.
- UASA offers internships for adults and service hours for teens. Call 707-545-7270 ext. 16 or prevention@uasasonoma.org.
- Community Education – sexual assault prevention workshops are offered to any community group requesting information on child abuse and general sexual assault issues. Call 707-545-7270 ext. 13 or email
prevention@uasasonoma.org. - Become a CAPP/TAPP educator – Child Abuse Prevention Project and Teen Assault Prevention Project. As a presenter for CAPP/TAPP, you will learn to facilitate dynamic classroom workshops for students. Call 707-545-7270 ext. 13 or email prevention@uasasonoma.org.
Trauma Reactions
Survivors may experience sexual problems after the rape or abuse. They may not want sexual contact of any kind, or may no longer enjoy it – this may be exacerbated if their partners blames them or are impatient with their recovery; alternatively, they might become more sexually active than before. All of these reactions are normal and understandable.
Survivors may make drastic changes in home, work, school or relationships; this can be an important part of helping them feel safe and in control again. Some of these coping skills will be healthy and supportive in their daily functioning. Some will not be very healthy and will have a negative emotional impact. Their various ways of coping may include:
- Substance abuse
- Self-injury
- Eating disorders
- Denial
- Numbness or lack of emotion
- Rapid, inexplicable mood changes
- Shame
- Guilt
- Feeling dirty
- Anger or desire for revenge
- Fear
- Nervousness and Worry
- Being easily upset
- Powerlessness and loss of control
- Grief and loss
- Feeling “different” from other people
- Loss of Self-esteem
- Losing interest in life
- Depression
- Suicidal feelings
Trauma Reactions Chart
RTS symptoms change over time. In the first days after the sexual assault, survivors usually experiences shock. They may be visibly upset, or may appear calm and reluctant to talk. Once the shock has passed, they may behave as if nothing has happened. This is called denial or apparent adjustment and helps the survivor block painful memories and feelings that they may not yet be strong enough to deal with. This phase can last for weeks or months or even years, but is almost always followed by a long phase of active healing, during which the survivor will probably experience other RTS symptoms. With care, attention and time, the symptoms will decrease and finally disappear completely.
Many rape survivors who experience symptoms of RTS, may find it helpful to talk to a counselor trained in working with these experiences. A counselor can help them deal with the strongest symptoms, or to work through memory loss. Other survivors may find that the assault brings up other underlying problems, and in these cases, more help may be provided. If you would like to find a capable counselor, contact UASA or another agency.
For more information contact United Against Sexual Assault (UASA). We offer a 24/7crisis line for survivors and also offer training, education and information about sexual assault and other forms of violence.